||| not healthy ||| well, the carrots are ||| freezable |||


Combine in Bowl #1:
Grated Organic Carrots - 3 cups
Oil - Coconut, Butter or Corn Oil - 1 cup
Eggs - count of 4. Not 3, not 1, thou shall count to 4.
Chopped Nuts if you are nutz. I don't put any in actually (but will sneak in ground flax)

Combine in Bowl #2:
Flour - 2 cups
Baking Powder - 2 tsp
Baking Soda - 1 tsp
Salt - 1 tsp
Cinnamon - 2 tsp

Marry Bowl #1 and Bowl #2 and stand back...wait for them to fight. Oh, sorry, that's a real marriage.
Just mix the two bowls, one bowl of carrot slop, and one bowl of floury, dusty stuff that will make you sneeze if you stir too aggressively. So simmer the fuck down.

Divide into greased muffin tins (or a cake pan, if you want a large square shape - why wouldja?), and bake @ 325° for 45ish minutes. It's an hour if you are making a cake, but the muffins will cook faster in the tins, so pay fucking attention. 

In Bowl #3: Cream Cheese Icing
WARNING: Do not sample. Sampling causes you to smash your face into the bowl, creates a carnivorous effect, making the affected delusional with sugar coated, orgasmic pleasure.
Cream Cheese - 8oz package, softened
Icing Sugar - 3 1/2 cups
Salt - 1/4 tsp
Butter - softened - 3 tbs
Mix, and try not to look at it. It pulls you in.

To create the nice swirly, like the pic, plop the icing into a ziploc bag and cut off a corner, and use it like a piping bag. No need for fancy-pants bourgeois kitchen tools. 

If you are an idiot, you will try to put icing on a hot muffin, fresh out of the oven. Stand back and watch yourself fail. What have you learned? that you've learned, swirl the cream cheese crack on cooled muffins, and then smash your face into it.

Thank me later, on any social media platform you desire, except Google+, because that one is the runt that smells like rotten cotton, and walks with a limp to get pity.


Take a pic. Instagram your mess @kkwasnica