IMPRESS HIM/HER POTATO LATKE BREAKFAST w/SEED TO SAUSAGE BACON & FRIED EGG
||| gluten-free |||
Eggie Eggie Egggssss
Seed to Sausage Molasses Black Pepper Bacon
Potatoes. Peeled. Or not.
Parmesan (not the dried shit from the shelf - ew.)
Or instead of Parm, try Havarti or Aged Cheddar
Cracked Black Pepper
Cracked Sea Salt
Preheat oven to 300° (or use a toaster oven)
Peel or don't peel your potatoes, and grate them, try not to include your fingers in the grating. Toss into a bowl. Grate some Zucchini too, there is always room to sneak in your veggies. Just do it. It's not gross.
Add seasoning, some grated cheese of choice (or not), and the diced shallot. Fuckin' throw in some herbs if you want too. Maybe some fresh dill? Goes well with the zucchini you are avoiding.
Add a beaten egg, and mix. Use a spoon if you are a pansy, use your hands if you wanna feel something sexy (single people should never use spoons).
Heat the griddle. <<< That word makes me giggle. I giggle about griddles.
But seriously, heat it up, add some butter, and grab a fist-full of pre-cooked latke. Slap it in the pan, in a nice shape. If you are a cheesy, romantic fucker, make a heart. Just don't tag my instagram with that one. I don't want to be associated to your vagina-like qualities.
Fry it, until brown on both sides, and place on a cookie sheet to keep cooking in the oven while you fry the bacon and egg (or eggs, if you had a date, and he/she stayed over, and you really like him/her, and you want to get into those panties/boxers again).
Stack all of it, latke on the bottom, then bacon, then egg, then shaved parm. Don't place on separate corners of the plate. That shows your insecurity (and that you miss your mom) and I can't stress enough that it looks like shit. Just stack it.
STACK IT. Fuckin' stack everything for a top-notch presentation EVERY time.
Feeds one, possibly two, if you are a Don Juan DeMarco.