||| NOT healthy ||| fucking delicious ||| 

For the Filling:
1/2-3/4 cup Dark Canadian Maple Syrup
(if you use the fake corn syrup shit...shame on you)
3/4 cup Heavy Cream (35%)
1 1/4 cup Brown Sugaaaa
2 Free-Run Eggs, room temp, beaten like my ass was at the gym today
2 tbsp butter

For the Base:
1 3/4 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter

Start by making the base. This is something that you can take your frustrations out on, or simply just get a good one-arm-workout on.
I used a fork, to cut the butter into the flour, sugar & salt mix. I JUST recieved a food processor (my first one!) from a friend as a gift, and I sadly forgot to use it! I'm a freakin' idiot, but I have one very strong arm. Who wants to arm wrastle?
So cut the butter in good, until you have a yellowy, crumbly, flour crumbly type crumble. Press it into a greased baking dish (I didn't grease mine, as it was non-stick), and then bake for 5-7 minutes at 350°. While it's in there, make the filling.

In a not huge saucepan, mix sugar, syrup & cream. Cook over a low heat until the sugar melts. Remove from heat and let cool a little. Keep your fuckin' fingers out of it, you twerp.
When it's cool enough to stick your finger in, 'cause I know you did, add the butter and eggs. Mix well, and pour over the partially cooked base (shortbread type base! Kazzzaaa! So good!)...oh, right, you need to bake the raw egg filling first. Don't be a dumb-dumb.

Bake, the oven should still be on 350°, for another 35-45 minutes, until the filling is set. It will bubble and rise a bit, but no need to freak out and call the hawt firefighters over. Strangely, they don't appreciate it.

When it has cooled a bit, sprinkle chopped pecans on top and press in a bit. Refridgerate for a few hours before cutting (it cuts cleaner - like a razor blade is to cocaine).

Bring one to work, and eat it in front of the person that you don't like in the office. Moan in delight, verbally express how it's the best thing to grace your lips. Tell them that you will bring them one if they stop being a dick. Problem solved. See? Food is love.


Take a pic. Instagram your mess @kkwasnica