||| gluten-free ||| pescatarian ||| dairy-free ||| bold |||

Wild Smoked Salmon
Canned whole tomatoes (organic, sodium free)
Roasted Red Peppers
Fresh Basil
White Wine
Caramelized Onions
Veggie Bouillon
Butter (or olive oil)
Cracked Peppercorns

First thing's first - caramelize your onions! In butter! That is always the first fuckin' thing to do, if you see it in a takes a long time, you can't rush the making of a diamond. Not sure if anyone has ever compared onions to diamonds before, but whatever.

While those diamonds are caramelizing, chop and prep the other stuff. If you look at that list and say,"What do I have to do to prep?" ...then you might be better off playing with some spoons and pots on the floor. Go ahead, you little munchkin, go make some music!

When the onions are nice and brown, and soft like the underside of a puppy's belly, pour in your tomatoes and smash them up (yes, you can use fresh, just peel them first...blanch&peel) - again, if you don't know how to do that, then seriously, go grab some wooden spoons and put the pot on your head for protection.

Get the tomatoes and onions a simmerin'. Add tons of fresh basil, crushed garlic, stripped red peppers (cut into strips, no, you can't get a stripper to show you how to strip them - she may be offended and you'll end up with your face blood in your sugo). Add your bouillon, wine (red or white, no matter), and cracked pepper.
Let it simmer as long as you want, adding the smoked salmon only a minute before serving. I mean, cut some into strips, and put into the sugo. The 'salmon rose' on top with basil leaves as garnish looks pretty like my face, but if you are not trying to impress anyone because you are single and sad, then no need for a fancy garnish, just put it in zaa sauce.

Serve over whatever the fuck you want - rice, pasta, a naked guy, pancakes (you MIGHT be pregnant)....I don't care, eat the sugo's that frickin' good.

A sugo that is as good as finding 20 cash and your lab results in an old coat pocket. Not as good as wondering what the 20 was for that day, and the year of shameful wonder about your health.

Bon appetito!


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