SPICED GINGER MOLASSES COOKIES
||| holiday party in your mouth ||| winter treat |||
1/3 cup granulated sugar
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
3-4 tsps pumpkin pie spice mix
1 tsp ground ginger
2 tbsp grated FRESH peeled ginger
1/4 tsp ground pepper
3/4 cup butter, softened
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 large egg yolk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup cooking molasses
Blend butter, white and brown sugar until smooth and fluffy. I always wonder why the fuck people say that you can get butter and sugar to be fluffy, because you can't. That's bullshit. But, go ahead and fluff that mother fucker somehow. Add the egg yolk, and vanilla. Blendy blendy blend blend. Add the molasses now. Blennnndddddd. Add the fresh ginger now. Hurry! Do it!
In another bowl, combine flour, bitchy soda, I mean baking soda, the ground ginger, pepper, and pumpkin pie spice. I don't think I missed anything, except love. Don't forget to add some love. Love can be bought on the street from a guy who responds welcomingly-like to,"hey, you have some coke?" Take that powdered love and add to the flour. Now your friends will crave these cookies every day, and you can start a business, charging them 5 bucks a cookie, and then you can become the Molasses Cookie King or Queen of the World.
So back to the real world, add flour to the falsified fluffy butter batter (that's fun to say). Blend well, with a wooden spoon, making sure there isn't any floury pockets. That's a funny prank - flour in your friend's pockets. Try it.
In a small bowl, add 1/2 cup white sugar and some pumpkin pie spice. Make balls (haha I am so immature, fuck you) with the dough, about 1 tablespoon worth. Toss the balls, *snicker* in the sugar bowl individually to coat.
Place about 1 1/2 inches apart on a cookie sheet with parchment paper, and bake for about 10 minutes at 375°. Try not to over bake, 'cause then they get real hard.
Like a man at a blow-job seminar. haha semen-arrrrr.
Stop thinking about penises. Think about the cookies in the oven. Pay attention to them.
And KK out.
Take a pic. Instagram your mess @kkwasnica